if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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