he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
