are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
