But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Boobs are out for the taking
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
