Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
