i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
