Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
