I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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