Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
