Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
