I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just threw up on my dentist
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
