Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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