i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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