In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Michael Bay diarrhea
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
