He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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