After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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