You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
