Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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