It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
