I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
