he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
