Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
