Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
