I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
