Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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