my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he shaved USA in his pubs
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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