My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Watching her eat just hurts me
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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