doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
