i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
