How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
