I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
