LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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