WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
