I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
