I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
