Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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