There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
