My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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