when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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