I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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