So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
