We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I am naked and annoyed.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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