Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
