i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
