I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
