smell my finger.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
