last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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