Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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