It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
