I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
