Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
