Me too!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize