Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
love makes seman taste better
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
