Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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