What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
