He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
