Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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