that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can I color on your dick again?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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