I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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