Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
