Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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