come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
